A flashback to my fat years
I was listening to a podcast on one of my Friday walks, and an author (who’d lost 250lbs!) talked about how he used to sneak food and pretend that he was buying for two.
When I was fat I would ‘drive through’ rather than dine in.
If I was eating with friends, I’d often pre-eat or plan to post-eat.
I’d often eat healthy to give the appearance of eating healthy.
I would buy two drinks, because that way people thought I was buying for two.
Who’s kidding whom?
It’s pretty rare of me to have a flashback to these feelings, but it was all right there on Friday. The guilt. The shame. The feeling that I
wanted needed to be full. Overfull, in fact.
Comparing ‘yesterday’ to today, I still get the feelings that once drove the overeating, the binging, the sneaking, the hiding, and the kidding of myself, but it no longer drives me toward food. I’m over it. …but it took time.
I wish I could tell you that losing weight would make you happy and stop those feelings, but for me, the reverse was true. Finding what was making me unhappy and reversing that problem allowed me to finally focus on getting healthy, fit, and lose 110lbs.
I can’t honestly say that once I got happy that the weight just came off, but once I got happy, I allowed the weight to come off. Finally, the ‘diet’ worked because I now allowed it to work.
You’ve read my story in Man on Top, but if you want to hear the podcast that brought all these feelings back up, listen to Gregg McBride’s interview, here. …while you walk, of course. 😉
I plan to get in contact with Gregg, myself, because I
love need to know how someone finally finds that switch, flips it, and keeps it off for many years. Ten years in Gregg’s case!